Chapter 4 - FEMA's 30 Pieces of Silver

"So he's a hypocrite, you’re saying?”

Dan Carpenter's voice crackled on the car radio.

"Absolutely! He’s a hypocrite," a gentle voice drawled in reply. “I mean, he’s been going behind his wife’s back and having sex with me. In spite of that, he has the gall to get up there every Sunday and tells everyone in his church that gay sex is evil…"

Hunched over the wheel of his Chevy, Tim was heading home through a snowstorm only half listening to the Dan Carpenter show. What a blizzard! Crazy, crazy weather! Seemed like the sky would never run out of the powdery, white stuff. From under the wide brim of his Montana hat, he moved his eyes back and forth, scanning the highway for any threats and dangers.

A light appeared fleetingly on his right hand side; it had a the bizarre shell-like shape. A gas station blazed up like a candlestick, then vanished in the froth of snow. Primeval chaos!

Next, his yellow headlights bumped up against the rear end of a jeep. Tim slammed his fist down on the horn. Bleep, bleep.
The jeep in front pulled away. Tim pressed down the pedal. His thoughts turned to a funding-raising banquet for Seth Wright that was coming up that Saturday evening. Some of the hottest celebrities, wealthiest business people and most powerful government officials on the West Coast had been invited. Full of exuberant anticipation, Tim pictured the media coverage the event was bound to attract. Approaching an intersection, he saw headlights through the snow: a Ford pick-up was driving in the opposite direction. The Ford flashed its headlamps in warning. Black ice?

"I mean, there he is,” a voice on the radio crackled, “telling his congregation gay sex is a sin and he's going behind their backs, and having gay sex with me. Isn’t that a hypocrisy?"

Tim upped the volume.

“Did Pastor Leitner pay you for sex?”

“Sure,” Rob Owen drawled over the airwaves. “I’m an escort. I do it for the money…That’s my line of business.”

Earthquake! Tim's heart stopped beating for a split second altogether – or did it break? Shatter into a thousand pieces from the disappointment and pain of knowing that Rob Owen, that god, that angel, who had always lifted him up when he had been down, had found out who he really was - and had shopped him!

"How much did Pastor Leitner pay you?" Dan Carpenter probed on the radio.

"250 dollars for an hour of sex.”

Tim started to hyperventilate.

"How did Tim Leitner find out about your services?”

"My contact details are on the gay websites in the Denver area."

"Only on gay websites?"

"Yes. That's what I offer. Gay sex.”

“Is Pastor Leitner gay?”

“He sure acted like he was.”

Fingers trembling, Tim pulled over onto the emergency lane. The highway barrier flashed in his headlights. He pressed down the brake, breathing heavily. His mind was whirling - whirling like the clouds of snow flitting through the darkness. Only he wasn't pure like those snow flakes. No, his soul was dirty like the sludge that had piled up beside the highway barrier! And now the whole world was about to find out the truth. The entire country was about to learn all about the lust seething behind his holier-than-thou façade. And then?

Tim’s heart began to pound as he saw himself attacked with broken bottles, knives, hunting rifles, machine guns…. Cindy would pack her bags and leave him all alone. He would end his days, disgraced, abandoned by everyone, huddled in a doorway, taking meth – if he could afford it – to smother his pain. He pulled down the zip of his jacket, thrust his finger in between his layers of clothing and loosened his tie.

“When was the first time Pastor Leitner visited you?” Dan Carpenter asked.

"Must be about two years ago now.”

"And how often did he visit you?"

"Once or twice a month."

"And you had no idea who he was?"

“He told me his name was Hank and he came from Georgia."

„What kind of sex did you have? I mean was it kinky?”

"We had straight sex, nothing kinky. No Bohemian Grove stuff.”

“Did you take drugs?”

“He took meth, but lots of people do that."

"Meth?"

"Yes.”

"What drug?”

“Crystal meth heightens the pleasure."

"Did you supply Pastor Leitner with the meth?"

"I did."

"Do you expect trouble now from the police yourself? I mean, here you are telling everyone about Pastor Leitner, but also that you're a prostitute, right, who deals in drugs? I mean, homosexuality is not a crime, but soliciting and drug dealing are.”

There was a pause.

"I'm no longer in that line of business,” said Owen.

“Liar!” Tim cried out, thumping his wheel.

"You're making some very serious allegations here against Pastor Leitner being gay, going to escorts and taking meth."

"I know. I’ve agonised about this. I didn’t know what to do. I know he's married. I know he's got kids. But his hypocrisy was just too much."

"You realise you're ruining his life."

"He's ruined other people's lives.”

“Thanks for joining us, Rob.”

“Thank you.”

"We’ll be back to hear your views after a bit of music. Take it away, Elvis…”

Next, Elvis Presley’s Devil in Disguise mesmerised the airwaves.

Tim felt a gut wrenching feeling of abandonment, despair and fear.

"O Lord! Help me, please! I promise you I’ll never have gay sex again. I promise, O merciful Lord, I will live a good and clean life if only you spare me this disgrace. Help me find me a way out…”

But God, if he was listening, wasn’t saying much. All Tim could hear was the blizzard moaning and howling outside. A horn blast startled him. He looked up just in time to see a truck driver flash a two-finger sign as he whizzed by.

Next, Dan Carpenter’s voice punctured the air.

“Your comments on Pastor Leitner, please on 424242.

”There was a crackle.A man spoke up. Tim pricked up his ears to listen.

„Why make such a big deal about Tim Leitner? I mean, you keep talking about Leitner and what a liar he is. But what about Bush, Wall Street and the corporate criminals that have been robbing us for years? What about those hypocrities and liars? Families are being thrown out of their homes in winter with nowhere to go. How come these crooks get away with it? They should be in prison. There is no more law and order and no more accountability. America isn’t just a failed economy. It’s a failed state. A failed civilisation! Who cares about Leitner when we have so many problems? Why waste time on him?”

“Onto the next comment,” said Dan. “Remember, we’re discussing the case of Pastor Leitner here and not the state of America, folks!“Tim heard a woman speak up:

“I’ve heard Pastor Leitner preach many times. It’s an outrage to say that Leitner is a liar. I believe he is wholly innocent.It’s an abomination to call him a homosexual and Rob Owen will surely get what he deserves for slandering a good, family man!”

Good bless you! Tim thought to himself, calming down a bit. Next, a man said in a gravely voice:

“When will people wake up? When will they realise most of our pastors are just as corrupt as Tim Leitner? The Christian fundamentalist churches are all about social control. The Pastors are all working hand in glove with FEMA to condition Americans to go into the concentration camps that have been set up for them by the Zionist bankers, who have robbed of their home."

"They are?"

"Our pastor has told us all about it."

"And what does he think about it?"

"He says any Christian who encourages people to go to FEMA the concentration camps run by Zionists and Israelis is a traitor. Our family is ready for the end. We have our guns, not registered. We have our network. We won't go to our deaths. It doesn't matter how many Pastors have sold us out for thirty pieces of silver. Christ talked about the sword. We Christians have the right to use the sword against evil. And this is evil. The Talmud encourages Jews to exterminate Christians. It's a fact. We're not going to a FEMA camp to be starved to death or killed."

"Next caller, please."

If you want to see hypocrites, then look at the administration. They are swearing they don’t torture, but there’s Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib and rendition! They swear they are protecting our freedom, but they’re doing everything to erode our civil liberties with wire taps and surveillance. They claim to be fighting in Iraq for America and all they want to do is fill their own coffers by getting control of Iraqi oil and the Afghan drug trade again. Even 9/11 was a lie. We are surrounded by lies and liars and a lying, propaganda media. The Nazis and Zionists playing on the gullible and ignorant to make trillions. They have ruined our country, stolen our money, sent our kids to fight their wars and die for them – and they’re still in power!”

“I see this is recurring theme,” said Dan. “I mean, the moral bankruptcy of our society right now.”

“To call our country led by moral bankrupts is too mild!” said the next caller. “They’re Satanists. They’re a bunch of power-crazed racists and freemasons who literally worship Satan. The Illuminati are building the New World Order. They want to be the masters of the world and control all the wealth. We are Christians are just monkeys, goyims. It’s happening here in North America with the North American Union and in Europe with the European Union. The Illuminati have brought America to its knees by engineering the financial crash so they can buy up assets on the cheap. Millions of Americans are losing their jobs and homes in foreclosure as a consequence of these criminals. Tent cities are springing up all over the country. We’re heading for hyperinflation. When the dollar collapses, and the Amero comes, the bankers will be able to buy up still more of the country. There’s going to be starvation for the rest. There’s going to be unrest and civil war and martial law. FEMA has the concentration camps and coffins ready to dispose of all the Americans. The vaccinations are there. We’re in the hands of a group of psychopaths.”

„Next caller, please.“

An elderly woman with a smoker’s voice said:

“The problem is that religion in America nowadays is packaged like a holiday, like entertainment.”

“Wasn’t it always this way, Ma’am?” asked Dan. “I mean, look at the Roman Catholic church? Their ceremonies, feast days and rituals are theatre of the first order! Marx even said religion was the opium of the people.”

“It wasn’t meant to be like this. Jesus Christ had a very personal, individual message about spiritual growth. He also said we are all as individuals accountable for what we do. That’s why we shouldn’t judge someone like Tim Leitner. Let God judge him. We should focus on our actions."

“Thank you, Ma’am? Next caller.”

“It doesn't surprise me that pastors are helping FEMA to destroy Americans. They are all in it just for the money. Christian fundamentalist movement is big bucks. Thousands of churches that have sprung up around the country like an epidemic and sing along and you have the illusion of religion. You don’t have to change inside. It’s an easy option. But that’s the way we like it in our soft, easy-option society. It’s all about filling the emptiness inside us with consumer goods and pre packaged experiences. People like Pastor Leitner thrive in this shallow religious culture. It’s easy to be a fake and fool millions in America today, and that’s a sad testimony to our education system. Our education system has failed as much as our government has.”

The next caller spoke up:

“Christian fundamentalists like that Pastor Tim Leitner have given Jesus Christ a bad name, and that’s a shame. There are so many genuine Christians out there who really care for their family, their environment, for the poor and who do their best to put integrity back into public service!”

“I’m sick and tired of all these liberals whining on this show,” cried a man. “Have you ever seen the Muslim fundamentalists in action? They are our enemies! The fanatics who destroyed the World Trade Center!”

"Next caller, please!”

“Pastor Leitner is a hypocrite living in denial, a fake, who deceives millions of gullible muppets. But what bugs me is that these megachurches are tax exempt. And that’s because they lick the boots of in Washington led by another egomaniac. I don’t give a hoot about that self loathing Pastor Leitner. What I care about is the way he works hand in hand with the GOP to rob us of our freedom and civil liberties. As for our government, Congress and Senate is blackmailed, bribed and bought. We live in a media-generated illusion, a propaganda world that has about as much relation to reality as the computer generated special effects in movies have.“

"Dan, I have a question."

"Fire away.”

"Why are gays called gay?"

"What do mean?"

"Gay implies happy, doesn't I? Well, I'm gay and I'm miserable most of the time and mostly because people like Pastor Leitner make me feel that way!”

"So you'd rather be called miserable, like in one of the miserables?"

"Why not? Hell, I'm fed up with being called gay when I'm not gay! I didn’t chose to be gay. It’s in my genes. As if anyone would chose to be stigmatised, victimised and hated all their life?”

“I take your point. Next caller?”

“I just want to say Jesus Christ does not mention gay sex. What he condemns is murder, robbery and injustice. Our government are a bunch of murders and plunders, and yet all Christian fundamentalist churches go on about is gay sex?”

“The problem is this demonisation of gay sex. As a result of that, people suppress their sexuality. They push parts of their psyche out of their conscious mind into the subconscious. Now we all know from Jung about the power of the subconscious. If people suppress parts of their personality to conform to an image, then they create a shadow, and that shadow is, by definition, out of our conscious control. That’s dangerous. Look at our government leaders. Half of them are gay. Just look at the guest list at Bohemian Grove. Read about how Reagan and Bush had gay escorts touring the White House. If the media weren’t in collusion, we’d have lots more scandals about child sacrificies and all that. You have all these frustrated gay men who hate themselves, in power, who get high on violence and wars. What counts is not sexuality but whether people are decent. Let’s have a level playing field here. Let people be judged by what they do and not who they are, not by their race, their religion or their sexuality but by their character and actions.”

“Thanks. That caller didn’t mention the Talmud, which calls as it does for the extermination of all non Jews. But some Jews believe in Moses, and there's no reason for anti Semitism. We have to talk about anti Talmudism or anti Satanism. Time for more music, folks.”

Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire started to zing down the airwaves.

Tim caught sight of the rear mirror. His cheekbones and chin glistened with sweat. He looked like death itself.

“What an ignominious end!….” he thought to himself, closing his eyes, and breathing heavily. “What an awful, awful end! Wouldn’t suicide be better? How awful, awful!”

Next, an idea flashed through his mind. It occurred to him that he just had to deny the whole thing! After all, Owen hadn’t produced a shred of evidence to back up the claims he had made on the Dan Carpenter show that he’d been visiting him for sex and meth. And how could Owen since he’d always taken so much care not to leave any evidence and to cover his tracks?All he had to do was say he had never ever visited Owen, and he’d be off the hook. Simple! Why hadn’t he thought of doing that before? Tim asked himself, opening his eyes again.

Courage! A little bit of deception and no one need ever know how he’d been roving in the back streets of Denver visiting a male escort. A few plausible lies -- the kind everyone told -- and the invitations to give speeches at Seth Wright’s fundraising dinner and to appear on Fox News and CNN would keep on rolling in. Oh, life could still be beautiful!

Yes, he could come close to total ruin, feel Death’s icy fingers on his shoulder and still manage to pull himself out of the mess if he just told a few little lies. It was despicable, but he was desperate.